Shorefall - Robert Jackson Bennett

Review :

OUT TODAY! GET IT GET IT GET IT! I might unleash the crustaceans on you if you don't! But hey, no pressure and stuff.

You know that feeling when the book you just finished reading is so Bloody Slightly Amazing (BSA) that you have no Bloody Fishing Idea (BFI) what to say about it Yeah well, hello and welcome to yet another Robert Jackson Bennett Wrote It Ergo Quite Blank My Little Mind Is (RBJWIEQBMLMI) review, my Little Barnacles.

*desperately looks at the whole of her two lines of notes for this book in search of inspiration*
*fails epically (albeit nefariously)*

Okay okay, I can do this and stuff. I ruthlessly rule over millions of murderous crustaceans, have conquered countless puny human territories and sacrificed more newborn babies than there are dinoflagellates in the sea, so the end of me this miserable little review shall not be. (Maybe.)

Here we goes and stuff.

Please don't ask.

So. This book. THIS BOOK. This world. THIS WORLD. This magic system. THIS MAGIC SYSTEM. So bloody creative. So bloody unique. So bloody rich. So bloody vivid. So bloody clever. So beautifully thought-out and amazingly developed. It's funny, this kinda sorta reminds me of an obscure series (by an obscure author) I read years ago. I think it was called the Divine Cities or something. It wasn't too crappy, if I remember correctly (view spoiler)[ Yes, I know, I can be hilariously funny when I want to. (hide spoiler)]. But anyhoo and stuff. I digress and stuff.

So. In pure, wondrously delicious RJB fashion, RJB (you have a vague inkling as to who I am referring to, I hope) mixes super extra fast-paced, non-stop action and disgusting emotion with a slightly very gripping-thrilling-lusciously titillating plot, hahaha galore, gloriously thought-provoking stuff and "bloody shrimping hell of the stinking fish!" material aplenty. Yeah yeah yeah, I know, move along, nothing to see here and stuff. I mean, this is kinda sorta what RJB always does in his books. And what he did in the first instalment of this series (somewhat a little brilliantly), too. (The man is cursed, methinks. Well either that or he sold his sold to the devil in exchange for super human writing powers and stuff.)

Yes, BUT. What he does here is even more bloody shrimping amazing than usual. Because he takes the world he created in book 1 where no shrimp has gone before and (choose all that apply) builds on it/expands it/amplifies it/broadens it/whatevers it. And blows your little grey cells away in the process. (Because he is kind and gentle like that.) So what we have here is Foundryside, only harder, better, faster, stronger . Aka Foundryside, Augmented. Aka, Foundryside, Scrived. Ha! QED and stuff. (You have no idea what this scrived business is about, you say And Is it my fault if you haven't read book 1 yet )

Why, thank you for your contribution, funky ladies & gent! It was high time for a groovy intermission indeed!

So. What else (Say "Nespresso" and see me unleash my murderous kids on you.) The Slightly Deliciously Yummy and Scrumptiously Diverse Cast of Character (SDYaSDCoC), maybe I'd already kidnapped adopted some of them while reading the previous installment waves at Sancia and Clef, who are currently enjoying the lavish facilities of her High Security Harem, but I think it's time to be bold and audacious, and do the Group Kidnapping Adopting thing (GKAT). This I'm doing for completely unselfish reasons, obviously. I mean, all I want is for Sancia and Clef to be reunited with their Scrived Scriving Cronies (SSC)-or is it Scriving Scrived Cronies I forget-and stuff. Obviously. It's not like I'm even remotely interested in Berenice, Gregor, or Orso. (Especially not Orso, since he reminds me absolutely not of my boyfriend Lhiewyn.) Nope nope nope. Couldn't care less about them and stuff. (view spoiler)[

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Oh, before I forget! Just so you know, this book features one of the most scrumpalicious power couples in the history of most scrumpalicious power couples waves at Cait & Danny Boy. It also features malfunctioning gods. Yes, it does. And the bestest, coolest villain ever. (He's a teensy little bit unbalanced, but that's part of his charm.) And the mostest awesomest mountain ever (don't ask). And "dull-witted, brainless bastards" (yay). And people slightly imploding. And bursting with blood and stuff. Which is always a plus, if you ask me.

Sorry, what You want more detailed details about the story and characters, you say Why that's what other reviewers are there for, my Tiny Decapods.

Sorry, what This is one of the crappiest reviews ever written, you say Why, thank you, my Lovely Arthropods. I do try my best and stuff. (view spoiler)[

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Nefarious Last Words (NLW): oh, I don't know. A very private, friendly message from this book, maybe

Yeah, this about sums it up quite nicely, methinks.

Thank thee kindly ever so much to Kathleen Quinlan and Crown Publishing for sending me a advanced copy of this book in exchange for a shockingly crappy review and stuff!

Book 1: Foundryside

[Pre-review nonsense]

Now THIS is how you write Fantasy. How you're supposed to, anyway. RJB, I lurves thee and stuff. And now let's dance the night away and stuff.

That's what I call a party! Right, Spockie Dear

Full review to come and stuff.

[February 25, 2020]

Aaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!! I have an ARC!!!!!!!!!!! Aaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!! Someone halp me, I'm having trouble breathing and stuff!!!!!

Ah, that's much better, thank thee kindly and stuff. So Where were we Oh yes. I have an ARC!!!!!!!!!!! Let's dance and stuff.

(view spoiler)[ (hide spoiler)]

[September 21, 2019]

Bloody shrimping hell of the stinking fish, it's been pushed back to APRIL 2020!

[September 2019]

A scrumpacilious cover we have!! Quite scrumpacilious it is!!!

[March 23, 2019]

Argh!!!!!! It's being pushed back to 2020!!!!!

[December 2018]

Bloody shrimping hell of the stinking fish. We have a release date and stuff.

Oh, and by the way:

Oh, and also:

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